I just have to take a moment to thank God for the changes that He has made in my heart and life over the past 2 years. Before I became a mommy I was selfish and career driven. In 2007 I graduated from a very strenuous 3 year graduate program that was immersed in the goal of graduating and getting a good job making lots of money. As soon as I graduated, got married, and passed boards I began working at an in-home pediatric therapy clinic. I traveled around to different homes and did OT sessions with children that received early intervention services through Babies Can't Wait of GA. Then in the Fall of 2007 Jonathan and I felt that God was calling us to move to Tifton. We moved to Tifton and through God's divine intervention I got a job at Tift Regional Medical Center. I was a WONDERFUL place to work. I learned so very much, made some great friends, and treasure the time that I got to spend there. In the Fall of 2009 Jonathan and I felt that the Lord was calling us back to Warren Baptist in Augusta so we moved back. One week after we moved away from family:( We found out that I was pregnant. I had gotten 2 jobs at the time. 1 part time as an OT with Aegis at a nursing home and 1 part time with the Warren Children's ministry.......work, work, and more work......we would leave home in the morning around 7 and not get home til around 8 or 9 at night. I was exhausted. Before Emory was born I had already registered her in Mother's Day Out at First Baptist....planning to return to work ASAP after she was born. Well as I am learning....my plans make God laugh.....and I am so glad that He allowed my plans to fail. At 23 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with Pre-eclampsia and a virus known as CMV. Emory was diagnosed with Interuterine Growth Restriction. Dr.Bartley put me on bedrest with hopes that Emory would grow and that the pregnancy would make it til 37 weeks. Each week we went to see both Dr.Bartley and Dr.Ware (a high risk pregnancy specialist). GOD PUT ON THE BRAKES BIG TIME!! Through that time God really showed me how wonderful my family is...my sweet sister Melissa and her children came to see me and spend time with me JS introduced me to Mario Brothers on the Wii and my sweet mother-in-law came and sewed every stitch of Emory's baby bedding. Sweet friends like Jennifer Pike brought over dinner (delicious cubed steak) and my husband was a WONDERFUL helper. He went to every doctor's appointment with me and held my hand and prayed for Emory every time. My sister Michele made me this beautiful scripture book. Full of God's truth. She substituted Emory's name into scriptures like Jeremiah 29:11. I would go up to Emory's room and read that book every day while praying scripture over her life. Praying for God to heal the CMV and for Emory to grow strong. All of this time was priceless and God was showing Jonathan and I who He is through how His people loved on us.
Emory came at 35 weeks via emergency c-section. I started having contractions at 4 am and as soon as I could I called the Dr. and off we went. I will never forget standing in the hallway of the Dr's office talking/crying to my sister Melissa on the phone. Telling her that the Dr. had just told us that Emory was no longer growing and they needed to go ahead and take her........heartbreaking to say the least.
Emory spent 1 1/2 in the NICU at University Hospital. We praised the Lord for every ounce she ate and for every ounce she gained. We thanked God for NO TRACE of CMV being found on Emory's cranial ultrasound and bloodwork....lesson learned that GOD HEALS!!!!
The day we left the hospital and had to leave Emory there was the worst day of my life. I cried all night and called the NICU several times to check on her. God gave me comfort in knowing that she was being well taken care of by the best babysitters in the world...NICU nurses.
I could not drive after C-section and I was once again amazed at how God provided rides for me to and from the hospital. One day my sister Melissa came and another day Mr.Jim Yorio took me (treated me like a princess for the day:))
When we got Emory home she weighed 4lbs. She was sooooo tiny!!! The thought of putting her in a nursery or daycare frightened me beyond belief!!! The decision to become a stay at home mom was a no-brainer at this point......the easiest decision I have EVER made. God's peace passed all of my understanding. It is worth every penny we don't make. God has provided each and every month. He has provided a way for me to have a steady job working just Fridays and some Saturdays at a nursing home 10 minutes from my home. Jonathan is off on Fridays so he gets to spend much needed time with the babies:)
6 short months after Emory was born we discovered a huge surprise.....PREGNANT with baby number 2!!! I checked the directions on the pregnancy test over and over to make sure I had done it right and that the results were correct.......WHAT????????
October 18 of 2011 James Emmett was born. Healthy pregnancy...planned c-section. God is good. We had contemplated to adopt before we found out we were pregnant...I am not sure now if we are called to adopt or not, but I do know that during that time I was very scared to get pregnant again. I think the surprise pregnancy was God's way of taking me by the hand and showing me that I can trust Him.
I am so thankful that God writes our stories and not me. He holds the pen to my life and to the lives of my children and family.
He is changing my heart daily. He is showing me the JOY that is found in submission to Him. He is showing me the peace that is found when I let go of myself and selfish desires to go with Him on the journey He has for me. He is daily showing me my need for His Word!! He is teaching me how to put off my old nature of complaining, selfishness, judgementalness (if that is a word), pride, worry, blame, bad temper, rudeness....and instead to put on His love, selflessness, encouraging words, trust, gentleness, slow to speak and slow to anger..
This is the process that I feel that I am in right now. I pray that the Lord will continually, daily change me to look more like Him. I am so thankful for His forgiveness, for His grace, and for His patience with me in this process. At first I did not enjoy being a SAHM. I knew I was doing the right thing but I questioned my purpose in life. Now the Lord has shown me that my purpose is the LOVE GOD AND LOVE MY FAMILY. It is to be willing to share His love where ever I go and just be willing to be used by Him......I am a disciple of Christ (a learning believer).
I heard a quote today that I thought was so good. "Unless you feel the strength of the storm on the ship, you cannot know the strength of the anchor." Corrie Ten Boom
I am thankful beyond words that God has shown and is continuing to show me His strength and His love for me. Before all this I knew that God loves people, but I questioned His love for me. Now I know that He loves me too. Even unrighteous, wretched me.
No comments:
Post a Comment